How do these people get hired?

The Fearful Summons. I confess, I have a soft spot for pulp popcorn sci-fi. I can usually read a book like this in an hour or two, without paying much attention. They’re usually predictable, adequately written and fun, for what they are.

But not this time. Oh no. This book was written by a guy named Denny Martin Flinn, and while normally I’d call a writer of his skills a hack – but not this time.

You see, Denny-boy is an artiste. A visionary. An innovator. Despite writing one of the innumerable Star Trek derivatives, with what could best be described as an iconic cast of characters, he needed to change… everything.

Set after Undiscovered Country, Kirk is a sedate, morose old fart who’s only consolation is banging young cadets. Sulu is a moron who gets himself into ridiculous trouble (even by Trek standards) and none of the old crew are really like themselves.

There’s an improbable new alien species with different names on the blurb and in the text, that despite being multi-limbed, snaggle-toothed and crablike, it is a major plot point that they had managed to interbreed consensually and successfully with humans.

Let that sink in for a second.

This book sat next to my toilet for months it’s so bad. Normally I’m a fan of some leisurely shitter reading, and usually I can finish any book I leave in the bog, but this one? Nothing cures constipation and encourages a quick nip and tuck like The Fearful Summons.

It’s not Brian Herbert bad, simply because TOS doesn’t have the gravitas of Dune. It doesn’t offend, it bores. It stultifies. It is pure, distilled essence of mediocrity, made so much worse by the fact that Denny very obviously tried so hard.

What he didn’t realize that like a drunken streaker at a soccer match, all he succeeded in doing was showcasing his shortcomings to a wider audience. To carry that analogy farther to it’s unpleasantly accurate conclusion, reading The Fearful Summons is like inviting the herpetic micropenis and sagging, warty ballsack of the Star Trek universe to be gyrated aggressively in your face.

I really don’t recommend it.

Original here

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